Before you begin take a moment to remember that those things which make you anxious at the moment will become less frightening when you start to do something to overcome your fears.

Step 1 - Remember that self confidence is built by taking one step at a time. Your fear will become more manageable with each step that you take.

Step 2 – Remember that fear is only unpleasant. It won’t destroy you.

Step 3 – Give yourself every chance of success by:

• Isolating one area in which you want to raise your self confidence.
• Choosing a fear that you might be able to overcome rather than your worst fear
• Taking one small step at a time
• Being prepared - finding out as much as you can about the situation that scares you beforehand
• Finding ways to help you relax before you attempt your difficult task
• Affirming yourself. Trying to focus on the things at which you are successful even though it can be much easier to focus on your fear. Saying these things to yourself…. “I am confident, enthusiastic, well informed about…..”
• Shutting your eyes and spending a moment imagining yourself succeeding at the task that you fear.
• Doing something practical to expand your self-confidence every day- getting used to being scared.

Being clear about what you are trying to do so that you know when you have achieved it. Praising and rewarding yourself when you complete the task.

EXAMPLE

Take someone who would like to overcome their fear of voicing their opinions in meetings. Telling that person that there is nothing of which to be frightened won’t help them to overcome this fear. Suggesting the following steps might:

Step 1- Go to a meeting and simply let the chairperson know when they agree with a stated opinion. They need say no more than ‘I agree with that’.

Step 2. At the next meeting they could let the chair person know why they agree with a given opinion. ‘I agree with that because ……..’

Step 3 - Prepare themselves for the next meeting by finding out as much as they can about what is going to be discussed at that meeting. Take and make notes. Use every available opportunity before the meeting to give their opinion on things. Before the meeting spend a few moments thinking of a time when they were given positive feedback for their opinion. This could be someone saying ‘That is a good idea’.

Step 5- Reward themselves.